Miss Clueless

October, the month of Diwali and Ningol Chakouba. Not particularly enjoyable for me this year. The night of Diwali, I found myself curled up in bed, hands clutching my head as if that would stop the terrible headache I was having. All the noise, not to mention the obvious pollution, made me mad. Abemma, one of our dogs, had a terrible, terrible time. And why do Manipuris celebrate Diwali? Because the king of Manipur was influenced by a Hindu preacher, converting Meities to Hindus. Well, I reject that. The same week was Ningol Chakouba, initially cancelled (for reasons I won't get into here), but later we celebrated anyway. All that and other things happened, and I also read some good books in October. Here they are: 1. The Source of Self-Regard by Toni Morrison 2. Mother Mary Comes To Me by Arundhati Roy 3. Enduring Loss—Stories from the Kuki-Naga Conflict in Manipur 4. The Ministry of Utmost Happiness by Arundhati Roy 5. A Life of One's Own by Joanna Biggs 6. Welcome to the Hy...

Wake up, wake up, Children of the Land! You hear and hear, yet turn a deaf ear. You see and see, yet close your eyes. You know, you know, but pretend not to know. Wake up, wake up, Children of the Land! The world has seen the light of science. Has your time not come? Are you still chasing ghosts of old history? Have you forgotten? Do you not remember? Who are you? Where do you come from? To which place do you belong? Who are you to ignore the past that shaped you? Is your behaviour still human nature? Wake up, wake up, Children of the Land! There will be rain. There will be flood. Does fear still dwell in your heart? A tiger does not spare a deer. Have you forgotten? Do you not wish to write a new history? Do you not wish to be brave? Be wary, even as you sleep, Your own blood has turned cold. Like seeks like, and power pairs with power. That history, written by the mighty, Do you wish to let it rule again? Do you not wish to end it? Do you not wish to become Our fath...

How I yearn for personal space and time alone! Long stretches of time alone to do nothing else but think, read, be creative and create. At the moment, that's not happening. But I have been reading as much as I can within the time I have. And I am grateful for what I have, and I know my time will come. I read some pretty good books in September. In order of my liking, starting with the one I like most, here they are: Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison (What a complete gem of a book!!🫶🏻) Circe by Madeline Miller The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison A Mercy by Toni Morrison Rosa Parks by Kristen Susieka The Cassandra Complex by Holly Smale Amazing Grace Adams by Fran Littlewood Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison:  That feeling when you finish a book, think you've just read one of the best books ever, and know this is not the only time you'll read that book. Yup! I got that with Song of Solomon. I guess I have a thing for magical realism. But it's not just that. This book surprise...

 "When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world." Not me. When I was young, it never occurred to me to think that way, or I don't remember now. But I can imagine how it can be true for others. By the way, this is a line from Circe by Madeline Miller, not the opening line. I've been reading books that are just there, available to me. But amid that, I felt like reading Circe, remembering a friend's recommendation from some time ago or maybe because I saw it mentioned in some Reddit thread.  Now I'm not well-versed in Greek mythology. It seems Circe is a side character in The Odyssey, which I have not read. But I very much prefer this retelling of the life of goddess Circe as the heroine of her own epic. I could relate to a few things here, learned a few things, or got reminded of things I was forgetting. I just love this kind of book. And no, I'm not going to write a review. Just some lines and my thoughts. "...in a s...

There was a time when we had seven to nine cats in our home. Now we have just three. All males. Yumleima, our last female cat, passed away on Aug 10th.  Rex, the rottweiler, is also gone. So unexpectedly. August is also the month we cut down all our bamboo. New things are coming up. Our home used to be surrounded by bamboo on two, almost three, sides. Most of it was cleared. But for a long time, we had a small bamboo grove in one corner. Now it's also gone. No more bamboo shades. Hotter now. Sad. I like having plants, trees, and bamboo around the house. Lots of them. Anyway, I read/listened to these books in August. Five are books I got from an Instagram bookstore giveaway. One is an audiobook. The No‑Show by Beth O’Leary Genre: Romance Three very different women discover they’ve all been ghosted by the same man and uncover unexpected emotional truths.  I liked the twist towards the end. Fun read. The Roughest Draft by Emily Wibberley & Austin Siegemund‑Broka  Genre...

August has not been very kind. Our Rex died. 23rd August 2025. A seven-year-old healthy Rottweiler. He was never once sick. How did this happen? I am having a hard time believing he's gone.  Every day, after I wake up, I let him out to do his nature business. Within our walls. As usual, he did and came back. Then later in the morning, I went to feed him. I saw that he had vomited everywhere. But he looked okay. He came out, did his business again, and came back. I took him up to the porch and sat him down on the sunny side. I thought he was cold and having indigestion. But he kept getting up. So I moved him to the shaded area. He drank some water and sat. I went into the room and read for some time. While reading, I could hear the sound of his chain jingling. That was normal. Maybe he was scratching himself, causing the sound. Nothing new to cause concern. I finished the book and went out to check. What I saw was horrible. He was seizing. I thought it was that. He was lying on his ...

What books have I read in July? Let's see. 1. The Indispensable Zinn, Howard Zinn 2. A Livable Future is Possible, Noam Chomsky, C.J.  Polychroniou 3. Manufacturing Consent, Edward S. Herman, Noam Chomsky 4. History of Manipur Pre-Colonial Period, Gangmumei Kamei 5. Rebel India, Henry Noel Brailsford 6. Rainbow Valley, L.M. Montgomery The Indispensable Zinn is a curated collection of Howard Zinn's most influential writings. The book highlights his lifelong commitment to social justice, anti-war activism, and grassroots democracy. It includes selections from A People's History of the United States and his speeches, essays, and personal reflections. He made a powerful case for ordinary people as agents of change in history, which is exactly the kind of thing I want to read, learn, and get inspired by. I'm very glad I picked this up. A Livable Future is Possible is a series of interviews with Noam Chomsky conducted by journalist C.J. Polychroniou (sounds like a chemical su...

 Scrolling through Instagram, I was seeing clips of a debate where one guy was openly declaring himself a fascist and laughing out loud; another guy was not answering a straight question of whether or not Israeli snipers shooting Palestinian children in the head was the fault of Israel. Instead, he tried to justify that those children may not be innocent. Seriously!! They were CHILDREN, for goodness' sake!!! Then there's another guy saying, White people are Native Americans. 🙄 These are actually clips from a YouTube debate titled "1 Progressive vs 20 Far-Right Conservatives (ft. Mehdi Hasan). Of course, I watched the entire thing straight. I have to say Mehdi Hasan is excellent at what he does. So satisfying to watch. I felt bad when the guy with the pink shirt and white cap told him, "Get the hell out." I am not surprised, though. I know these people exist. Racist, fascist, privileged white supremacists who do not accept that people of color can be Americans an...

 It's 3:23 am, Friday the 27th of December, 2024. I am up because I had a bad dream. I tried going back to sleep, but I felt that I should write down how I was feeling. Perhaps I will feel a little better or more relieved after doing that. I don't know whether the way we left off our phone conversation or the news about the total shutdown had anything to do with the dream. I mean, we didn't finish our conversation on good footing. We nearly, no! We most certainly raised our voices. And there was news about the shutdown, which was a reason for some panic.  So, in the dream, I was in a big lecture hall with benches & seats on big steps. There were many people. The person beside me was just telling me to be careful, more like hide my face, because I, with two other people (I didn't know who they were), looked a bit like Kukis. (I mean, what?! How did this even pop up in my dream, huh!?) He said that we were more susceptible to attacks, so it's better to be safe and...

Last month, in June, I read the History of Modern Manipur. It's a book edited by Lal Dena (Department of History, Manipur University). This copy is a first edition, published in 1990. Our story starts way back in 1762 —the year Manipur came into its first formal contact with the British . At that time, King Bhagyachandra of Manipur was in big trouble. The Burmese (from present-day Myanmar) had invaded his kingdom, and he had to run for his life! So what did he do? He asked the British East India Company for help. The British, who were gradually expanding their power in India, believed that assisting Manipur could be beneficial. So they signed a treaty with Bhagyachandra in 1762 and promised to help him get his kingdom back. Spoiler alert: they didn’t do much at that time. But it was the start of a new relationship between Manipur and the British. Fast forward to 1819 . Manipur was in total chaos . Brothers were fighting for the throne. They were the sons of Bhagyachandra: ...

 Today is the last day of June, and I feel compelled to jot down the books I read this month to reflect on my experience and learnings. These are the books: ~The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen ~My Seditious Heart by Arundhati Roy ~Annihilation of Caste by Bhimrao Ramji Ambedkar ~History of Modern Manipur by Lal Dena Just four. It's okay, really. There is no compulsion to read 6/7 books every month. Reading fewer books doesn't mean I'm learning less. In fact, I learned more deeply. The books this month have been impactful in different ways. Clearly, there is a shift in my choices, and I feel this was meant to be. Meaning, I'm leaning more into nonfiction now. I guess I've always been angry and frustrated deep inside. Angry about the climate crisis, social injustice, discrimination, violence, war, exploitation, etc., etc. I was just deluding myself, living in the comforting world of fiction, escaping all these thoughts. As I read more nonfiction, I get angrier, but I k...

Reading Heart Lamp by Banu Mushtaq—the winner of the International Booker Prize 2025—was, I'm not going to lie, a frustrating experience. This is a collection of short stories about oppressed Muslim women, many of whom are trapped in painful, inhumane relationships, mostly with their husbands. What broke me was the fact that so many of these women had no way out. No choice. Their circumstances, their communities, and the world around them offered little to no support. Reading about their lives burned. It made me angry. It made me feel helpless.  But maybe that’s what this book is meant to do—hold up a mirror, make us feel the injustice, and help us understand what these women go through every day. Maybe if more people read these stories, things can change. Awareness is the first step. Empathy is next. Another thing that stood out to me was the writing itself. The book is translated from Kannada, and since I lived in a Kannada-speaking city for more than a decade, the language ...

The Doctor and the Saint  is a nonfiction essay, a theoretical debate between two towering figures in Indian history: B.R. Ambedkar and M.K. Gandhi. The "doctor" refers to Ambedkar, jurist, economist, and the chief architect of India’s Constitution, while the "saint" is Gandhi, the internationally revered leader of India’s independence movement. Roy challenges the sanitized image of Gandhi often taught in mainstream narratives, especially regarding his views and actions on caste. She contrasts this with Ambedkar’s radical anti-caste politics, his lived experience as a Dalit, and his demand for dignity and structural change. The book not only examines their ideological rift but also asks hard questions about how we remember history, who gets to tell it, and what justice really looks like. In the book , Arundhati Roy writes: For a writer to have to use terms like ‘Untouchable,’ ‘Scheduled Caste,’ ‘Backward Class,’ and ‘Other Backward Classes’ to describe fellow human ...

May was a month of mixed moods and powerful stories. Some books were as comforting as a bedtime drink, while others cracked open bigger conversations about history, identity, and mortality. Here's a look at everything I read this month: 📘  The Little Prince , Antoine de Saint-Exupéry A tender philosophical tale wrapped in a children's story about a young prince's journey through planets and people. This may be a global favorite, but you don’t always have to love what others love. Still, it was nice—gentle, wistful, and okay in the best way. 🧹  Kiki’s Delivery Service , Eiko Kadono A young witch starts her own delivery business and finds independence and friendship in a seaside town. Reading this felt like drinking a warm cup of milk. Pure comfort. 🌿  The God of Small Things , Arundhati Roy A haunting, nonlinear novel about forbidden love, caste, and childhood trauma in Kerala. I get why this is famous—and I totally agree. Roy’s language is lush, her story devastating. ...

Not all books are forgettable. Some linger like ghosts or old friends. Here are 5 that won’t leave me alone. 📘 The Bell Jar , Sylvia Plath What it’s about: A story about a young woman struggling with mental health and feeling out of place in the world. Read this if you like  emotional, honest stories that go deep, even when they’re hard to read. I’m scared of this book. And yet, I can’t stop thinking about it. Sylvia Plath doesn’t hold anything back; her words cut deep. If you’re someone who prefers cozy reads and gentle narratives, this is your warning: The Bell Jar is neither cozy nor gentle. It’s haunting. Somehow, it made me question other authors I once admired. It’s too intense to reread and too powerful to forget. 📗 Letters to a Young Poet , Rainer Maria Rilke What it’s about: A series of thoughtful letters full of gentle advice about life, art, and being true to yourself. Read this if you enjoy  quiet, reflective books and need a little creative encouragement....

Some of my encounters with racism in India. To the guy in college who thinks Northeast girls are "easy" and talks shamelessly with insensitive comments—your entitlement isn’t flattering; it’s disgusting. To the colleague who jokes about my race, saying,  “The more you laugh, the less you see,”  mocking our  “small and squinty eyes.”  Do you even realize how that would make us feel? Or do you just not care? To the ignorant person who says things like,  “You all look the same.”  Is it deliberate, or do you genuinely not think before speaking? To the guy who looked at me, turned in my direction on the side of the road, and spat—literally. I know what you meant. I know what you were trying to say. To the young boys who shouted  “Chinese! Noodle! Chow mein!” at   me as if it's hilarious. Where are you now? Have you grown up? Or are you still the same pathetic person, passing your bigotry onto others? And then to be denied entry at a certain palace, wel...

April made me stronger than ever. It’s the books that I read, the characters, and the authors. These books will shock you, break your heart, heal you, inspire you, educate you, and, above all, make you stronger than ever.    ~The Color Purple by Alice Walker ~Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston ~I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou ~Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin ~Beloved by Toni Morrison I have added some lines from each book that I'd like to revisit. The Color Purple by Alice Walker I started the month with this one. Published in 1982. Miss Celie finds her voice and healing through letters, sisterhood, and self-love. I’ll remember her and Shug Avery. It is because of this love that racism, as evidenced by belief in superior and inferior looks and mentalities, failed to impress me. if we persevere, we may, like her, eventually settle into amazement that by some unfathomable kindness we have received just the right keys we need to unlock ...

A little recap of what I've read in the past three months.  January ~Anne's House of Dreams by Lucy Maud Montgomery ~A House for Mr Biswas by V. S. Naipaul ~Arrival/Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang ~Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw February ~A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf ~Winter Recipes from the Collective by Louise Glück  ~Dottie by Abdulrazak Gurnah  ~The Enigma of Arrival by V. S. Naipaul  ~The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón March ~Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk ~The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman ~Anne of Ingleside by Lucy Maud Montgomery ~Life and Death Are Wearing Me Out by Mo Yan ~The Stranger by Albert Camus ~The Lady with the Little Dog by Anton Chekhov To pick a favourite from each month: For Jan, I liked  A House for Mr Biswas by V. S. Naipaul so much. I've been reading books by Western authors, mostly by white people, about white people. I've also read some Asian authors, but I...

Some titles describe. Some titles intrigue. And then, some titles don’t just name a book—they  whisper a feeling. For me, the most beautiful of them all is On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous  by Ocean Vuong I picked up this book following Andrew Garfield's book recommendations. When I first heard/saw this title, I was like, wow! Hmm... While I may not like the book as much (I mean, my favorites are other books), the title of this one tops all else I’ve read. I just want to appreciate it by making a blog post about it. It's a title that holds love, grief, beauty, and brevity—all at once. It doesn’t ask for attention. It deserves it. And a few others that live rent-free in my head (some of these may not be what you call beautiful, but I just like them): To Kill a Mockingbird The Book Thief One Hundred Years of Solitude Howl’s Moving Castle The Catcher in the Rye A Midsummer Night’s Dream The Bell Jar Never Let Me Go Piranesi Beloved The Time Traveler's Wife And Then There W...

I finally ticked off a major milestone this month—I went on my first international trip! Vietnam was the destination, and I went along with my sister and a friend.  We planned it all within two months, which, in hindsight, felt a bit rushed. In our excitement, we tried to cover too much in too little time. Our itinerary was built for seven days, but when you take out the travel days, we were really left with only five. We now realize we could have planned it better—maybe focused on just one or two regions instead of trying to do everything. Still, no regrets. We took a ton of photos, shared some laughs, and made memories. A Few Reflections from the Trip One of the biggest takeaways for me was realizing how much I value solo travel. Don’t get me wrong—traveling with friends and family is lovely. You share the highs, split the logistics, and there’s always someone to take your picture. But I did find myself longing for the kind of freedom that only solo travel allows. To go whereve...

I read Sapiens last year, and I still think about it sometimes. Especially these lines... The secret was probably the appearance of fiction. Large numbers of strangers can cooperate successfully by believing in common myths. The pursuit of an easier life resulted in much hardship, and not for the last time. It happens to us today. How many young college graduates have taken demanding jobs in high-powered firms, vowing that they will work hard to earn money that will enable them to retire and pursue their real interests when they are thirty-five? But by the time they reach that age, they have large mortgages, children to school, houses in the suburbs that necessitate at least two cars per family, and a sense that life is not worth living without really good wine and expensive holidays abroad. What are they supposed to do, go back to digging up roots? No, they double their efforts and keep slaving away. History is something that very few people have been doing while everyone else was plo...

I think 59 is a decent number; no speed-reading here, just enjoyment. Here's my list of 59 books I read in 2024. How many do we have in common? ;) A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara 😭 Pachinko, Min Jin Lee 😍 Yellowface, R F Kuang  Fathers and Sons, Ivan Turgenev  Everything I Never Told You, Celeste Ng One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez 😍 Post Office, Charles Bukowski  The Book Thief, Markus Zusak 😍 Kafka On The Shore, Haruki Murakami🙂 Middlemarch, George Elliot  To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee 😍 Howl's Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones🙂 A Gentleman in Moscow, Amor Towles The Catcher in the Rye, J D Salinger🙂 Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie  Later, Stephen King  Notes from the Underground, Fyodor Dostoevsky  All Systems Red, Martha Wells  The Death of Ivan Ilyich, Leo Tolstoy  The Sirens of Titan, Kurt Vonnegut  Piranesi, Susanna Clarke🙂 The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain To the Lighthouse, Virginia Wo...

I read Orbital by Samantha Harvey, the Booker Prize winner for 2024, and here are a few lines worth remembering from the book, at least for me! .............. She finds she often struggles for things to tell people at home, because the small things are too mundane and the rest is too astounding and there seems to be nothing in between, none of the usual gossip, the he-said-she-said, the ups and downs; there is a lot of round and round. The strongest, most deducible proof of life in the photograph is the photographer himself—his eye at the view-finder, the warm press of his finger on the shutter release. I love the moon as it is, she said. Yes, yes, he'd answered, me too, but all those things are beautiful, because their beauty doesn't come from their goodness, you didn't ask if progress is good, and a person is not beautiful because they're alive, like a child. Alive and curious and restless. Never mind good. They're beautiful because there's a light in their ey...